24 January 2009

Mea Culpa, Yet Again

I just realized my last post was...last weekend. Oy. So, I'm not the most consistent blogger in the world. I try to post first thing in the morning, but lately I've been so tired it's hard to see straight, much less type anything coherent.

What's been going on, you ask? Hmmm. Where to start?

My body is experiencing perimenopause, or something very similar that has thrown my hormones completely out of whack. It's like being on one of those ultra-modern twisty-turny rollercoasters, but with none of the fun; I can go from zero to Complete Raving Bitch (CRB) in nothing flat. Likewise, I can go from normal to sobbing uncontrollably in the same amount of time. Most of the time I realize what's happening, and can temper the worst of it, but not before others have noticed and started to worry. It's even started to affect my work. Very frightening.

Fortunately, I have found a new doctor who is very thorough, and determined to find the cause of all this hormonal mayhem. Unfortunately, determining the cause also involves multiple blood draws over a series of weeks. Not fun, but I'm willing to endure for the sake of finding out what's behind all of this, and (hopefully) putting a stop to it.

I've also been working like a fiend to improve my situation at work. My special project is due to come to a close at the end of this month, a full month earlier than expected, and I've been terrified by the prospect of going back to 20 hours a week. Working full time has given me an influx of much-needed cash, and I really don't want to lose it. Worrying = not so conducive to sleep.

But I do have some good news: I found out yesterday that I will not be returning to my 20 hour a week status - I will be transitioning to a 32-hour week. Better, but it will still mean a cut in pay until I (again, hopefully) get a raise in April. To that end, I've been lobbying for a promotion, which comes with a guaranteed salary increase. Even though my 2008 evaluation kicked butt, no one mentioned the "P" word. So, being a take-charge type, I asked what I had to do to get one. My supervisor said I certainly met the criteria for moving up a level, but she had to discuss it with the other departmental supervisor and she'd let me know at our meeting next month.

So, as with my health issues, I'm playing the waiting game, and my little mind is busy torturing me with worst-case scenarios. Much suckage. So please forgive me if I've been a little preoccupied of late. I haven't gone AWOL - at least not physically. I'll keep you updated, I promise. It just might take me a while.


Even with all of this coming to a head this week, I must insist that I haven't abandoned my opinion that this will be a wonderful year. It will be - but, as with any roller coster, you can't have highs without some corresponding lows. I will do my darndest to focus on the good parts, and spare you the worst of the bad.

Let's just say it's going to be a wild ride. :-)