28 November 2008

Cluelessness? Premeditated Murder? You Be the Judge.

I occasionally lurk on a forum for men and women who have in-laws from Hell. Yesterday (Thanksgiving) I expected some doozies of stories, but not a tale of premeditated murder.

This poor woman has a fatal allergy to a certain food product. Her husband, unfortunately, is so enmeshed with his parents that he's still trying to crawl back into his mother's womb. In other words, he will let his parents badmouth and bully his wife, and say nothing in her defense. Not much of a man, and less of a husband. But I digress.

After much argument, wife lets husband persuade her into hosting his parents for Thanksgiving. She did so with much trepidation; her mother-in-law (MIL), in the past, had made desserts with the ingredient to which she is deathly allergic. In fact, this MIL had gone so far as to push this dessert toward the poor woman and urge her to take a bite to "see what happened." After that incident, the woman started carrying an epi-pen with her at all times.

Back to the present. Before dinner, woman's husband keeps telling her to make a certain dessert that the woman likes. Woman declines, because MIL has been asked to bring dessert. Husband again insists that woman make a pie. Again, woman declines.

Then MIL and FIL arrive, bringing not only a pie to which woman is deathly allergic, but they also BRING THEIR OWN FOOD. Turns out FIL "hates" the woman's cooking. Who in the fucking hell brings their own food to someone else's house for dinner?! But here's the kicker - during dessert, woman is sitting, stony-faced, while the others eat MIL's pie, and MIL is telling the woman all about how good and tasty and yummy the pie is. Woman's husband is shoveling pie in his face without comment.

Woman realizes that her husband knew all along that his mother was bringing a dessert that could potentially kill his wife, and said (and did) nothing. Nor did he call them on the gross insult of bringing their own food and scorning the meal he and his wife had prepared for them.

Now this woman is nearly apoplectic with anger at herself for letting herself be persuaded to host these evil people for a meal in her home. I say she should be more enraged at her husband, who KNEW what his mother was doing and stood silently by and let her do it.

I think she needs, in this order: a police report against her MIL (there's an established pattern of behavior of this woman trying to kill her), a locksmith, and a pitbull divorce attorney. Because I don't care how much that man claims to "love" his wife: no husband should let his parents do that to the woman he married.

What do you think?


Nan said...

This poor woman needs help. Perhaps the anger over the inlaws insanity will give her the drive she needs to make some serious changes in her life. I certainly hope so. We are raised to be "good-little-girls" and respect our elders, which makes us tolerate things that should not be tolerated. I hope she can break that "training" and put these people where they her rearview mirror.