06 December 2009

Is it time?

Since I started this project at work, I find myself devoting all my energy to that career, as opposed to my writing. Even on the weekends, which should be prime writing time, I find myself drawn more to reading, to exercise, to socializing - to everything BUT writing. When I do set time aside to write, I end up producing perhaps one or two pages, getting frustrated, and firing up the mah jongg program instead.

Every. Single. Time.

I know that other authors have published their novels while also holding down a full-time job, but the question I'm asking myself is: has the time come for me to stop trying?

I have no illusions about my prospects. My divorce left my writing ability - and my confidence - a crippled wreck. The economic recession has made the publishing industry even more insular, and the monetary rewards smaller. To top it all off, I still haven't discovered what I really want to write about.

And I'm tired. Tired, frustrated, and cynical about the whole damn thing.

So perhaps it's time for me to get off the merry-go-round.


Nancy J. Parra said...

Listen to me. Get off the guilt train. Right now! :) You know I've said this before, live your life. It's too short to make yourself unhappy. I love you no matter what and all I want is to see you happy. It's sort of like the old joke:
"Doctor it hurts when I press here."
"Well, then don't press there." LOL
Be proud. You are a successful author with books in the library. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Now- go play, read and be happy! But don't forget to meet with us little people. Cheers!