Finding My Way

I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately about happiness, life, and what I can actively do to make sure the two are not mutually exclusive.

They have been, of late; I've been so caught up in angsty contemplation of the vicissitudes of life that I'm forgetting to actually live.

How's that for a brain buster?

It boils down to this: there are so many would'ves, should'ves, and could'ves that cloud our vision, that prevent us from actually enjoying the innate happiness and peace within each of us. In Buddhism, this is reflected in the Four Noble Truths:

1) Life consists of suffering.
2) The origin of suffering is attachment (our desires, cravings, etc.).
3) The cessation of suffering is attainable.
4) There is a path to cessation of suffering, through the right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. (These are called the Eightfold Path.)

I guess you could say I've just fallen off the path.

It's time to find my way back.

Timing is Everything

"You gotta know when to hold 'em,
Know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away,
And know when to run...."
- Kenny Rogers, The Gambler

Knowing when to make an exit is a valuable skill, whether it involves a party, a visit to a friend's home, or the fellowship of a group.

When your participation in any of the above causes you more grief than it does pleasure, you know it's time to go. The cause of that grief may or may not be aware of what he or she is doing; in the best of all possible worlds, we would all have the introspection to realize when our behavior is toxic to others. Unfortunately (with apologies to Dr. Pangloss), this is not the best of all possible worlds, and confronting the source of the conflict often does more harm than good; in that event, the only other option is to remove yourself from the situation, which is exactly what I have done.

Kenny Rogers had the right of it. Now, if only I could get that damn song outta my head....

Hot!

And I'm not just talking about the weather!

Last night SYTYCD aired its first Hollywood show of Season 7, but the performances were a showcase for the top 11 dancers and the returning "all stars" from previous seasons - no voting yet.

I have but two words to describe it:

Pasha.

Shirtless.

Nggghhhh! (That's the sound of me swallowing my tongue and drooling....)

Know who else I was delighted to see? Mark Kanemura, from Season 4. So charismatic, so talented, and so twisted - my eye kept going back to him during that routine. Whoever gets paired with him is going to have to work extra, extra hard to make themselves seen beside that man.

Oooooh! I'm getting chills. Can't wait for next week's show!

One. More. Day.

Ugh. Sooooo didn't want to wake up this morning. Srsly - I've been exhausted, both mentally and physically, and under so much stress that I've been clenching my teeth at night.

I just have to make it through today; my vacation starts at 5 PM! And then I'll have plenty of time to sleep in, sit in coffeehouses with my laptop...and buy a nighttime dental guard.

Oy.

Countdown!

Four days until vacation.

Four days until it's just me, a lovely coffee shop, and my laptop.

Four days until I can take afternoon naps with my cat.

Four days until I can take myself shoe shopping.

Four days and counting.

(Can ya tell I'm looking forward to this??!)

Friday - At Last!

It's taken me all week to recover from the CF that was last weekend (with my DH on call and having my sleep interrupted every four hours), and I'm *still* tired.

Thank goodness today's Friday. Tomorrow I'm going to sleep in, and when I finally do decide to get up, I'm going to hunker down with my laptop to have some more fun with writing. Yay! And after next week I'll be on vacation - also yay!! And I get to see my lovely BWC chickies, too - another yay!!!

Now all I have to do is get through today....

Ugh.

DH has been on call all weekend for his job in the medical profession. His place of work called him at least 3 times during each day, and at least once each night, waking us both from sound sleep. After each call, it took me at least 30-45 minutes to get back to sleep.

Consequently, I'm going into what's going to be a heavy (and early) work day more than a little sleep deprived. Add to that the fact that the cat has just yarfed all over the house (three times!!), and I'm cranky, to boot.

Even if Mondays didn't exist, the first day of the work week would still kick our collective asses.

(/rant)