THREE CHAPTERS!!!

Sorry for the yelling - I'm just that psyched!

I hit the three chapter mark yesterday, and could hardly believe it! I haven't written that much in over a year! w00t!

It takes me longer these days to crank out pages, but I'm not letting myself get discouraged. Some days, of course, are better than others, but I'm trying to keep up that forward momentum. My crazy work schedule is such that I have time to write only on weekends, and I find myself really looking forward to having that special one-on-one time with my laptop.

Just had to share. *grin*

Summer = SYTYCD!

OMG - I just watched the first audition show for season 7 of SYTYCD, and I have but two words for it:

Latin. Ballroom.

It made Adam Shankman hot. It made Mia want to do a ballroom chorey. And it gave me goosebumps in a very, very nice way.

The season's off to a great start, no doubt about it. So let's hear it for summer! Boo-ya!!

Stage 3 Complete

"Ground control to Major Tom...."

Not really, but that's what it feels like! Stage 3 of my big work project is now complete; we went live yesterday with only one minor hiccup that already has been remedied.

It was anticlimatic, as every other stage has been, but that's a good thing. I'm exhausted, truly and deeply (not to mention more than a little cranky), so it's also a good thing that there's a long weekend coming up.

Because Tuesday we have to hit the ground running. Again.

Anyone seen my track shoes?

Unapologetic Misanthropy

I hate stupid people, I really do.

I'm ready to work on some issues with my FOO that have been festering for a while. After wading through a total clusterf*ck between me, my EAP and a snotty "I obviously hate my job" counseling clinic receptionist two weeks ago, I thought I had come away with an appointment - today at 1:30.

But when I went to the clinic today at 1:30, the yotch of a receptionist said she had no record of me ever having scheduled an appointment.

No apology. No accepting of blame or responsibility, even though she'd obviously screwed up; they had my EAP's authorization number in their system, but not my appointment. Why in the hell did she think I showed up on this day, at this time - for funsies?! She just gave me an apathetic stare and a halfhearted offer to "try" to find me another time to see my counselor.

I wanted to leap through the glass window and strangle that stupid c*nt. Instead, I told her (and the office manager who was lurking behind her) that she'd already screwed up twice with me, and I wasn't feeling charitable enough to give her a third chance. Well, but maybe I'd think about it and call - I suggested she hold her breath until I did.

When I returned to my office to call my EAP to get a referral to another counselor, I ended up on hold for 15 minutes while they tried to find my file. By the time they located it, I had to go back to work. The EAP agent got snippy with me because I didn't want to hold a three-way conference with the stupid yotch at the clinic; the agent had absolutely no empathy for my situation, despite the fact that I was in tears by this point. She snottily said she'd have someone call me back later.

Yeah. Later.

All I wanted was some help. I've been depressed and anxious for weeks leading up to and since the latest Hallmark holiday (Mother's Day). Instead, I get apathy, ignorance, and incompetence all rolled up in one putrid bundle. All I want is for people to do their jobs. All I want is some help in exorcising my demons. (And a pony, and a plastic rocket...) But all I've ended up with is a case of seething, raging, unapologetic misanthropy.

Stupid people suck.

A Spring in My Step

Last weekend I attended Spring Fling, the bi-annual conference hosted by Chicago-North RWA. Although I wasn't formally registered for the conference, all of my Broken Writer pals were going to be there, and we had planned an informal get together in the lobby of the hotel.

I drove down in the morning with my friend Nancy, and ended up staying all day. But instead of huddling down in a corner of the hotel lobby with my laptop the entire time, as I had thought I would, I turned a complete and total social butterfly - schmoozing, imbibing a few tasty adult beverages, and generally having a fabulous time! I felt so good that I even showed my WIP to one of my dear BWC friends, who gave me some wonderfully positive feedback. Talk about a shot in the arm!

Although I came home exhausted (as an introvert, schmoozing has that effect on me), I also came home with a renewed sense of purpose and...(wait for it)...a renewed sense of *enjoyment* for writing!

Since then, I've actually finished one of the BWC goals I set for myself - I finished the first chapter of my new WIP. And this weekend, once my chores are done, I'm going to continue my headlong plunge toward finishing chapter two.

I can't wait!!

Getting My Mojo Back

Magic. Mojo. The Groove.

Call it what you will, "it" has been noticeably missing from my writing life for the past...well...years. All the joy I once had for writing was totally and utterly kaput; every session at the keyboard was filled more with angst than productivity, or even enjoyment.

Ever since my divorce I've been on a journey of self-discovery. Most recently, it's been that my writing troubles do not stem from the emotional gulag that was my marriage and divorce; they go back much further, to my family of origin (FOO). Getting through this process has been akin to clawing my way through a labyrinth of thorns - horribly painful, but there's no other way out.

As a result, I'm writing again - and enjoying it. When I sit down at the keyboard, all that matters is the story in my head, and getting it out onto the screen. It's the first thing on my mind when I wake up, and even when I'm at my day job. Trust me - this hasn't happened in *years.*

Now, I'm not saying I'm cured - far from it. My Inner Editor, fueled by a lifetime of casual, hateful criticisms from my narcissistic mother, still has the power to cripple me. At least now I can recognize this roadblock for what it is; I'm becoming more and more adept at blockade running.

I suspect this will be an ongoing battle; writing, as a process, will never be as easy for me as it is for some. But it's MINE again, at least for the moment. And I couldn't be happier.

Ah, Spring!

The weather has been beautiful this past week - sunny and warm. Crocus and daffodil are starting to bloom, and we winter-weary Wisconsinites are venturing out of our holes, pale-faced and pasty, to blink incredulously at the sun. Time to put away the sweaters, the wool socks, the turtlenecks and winter parkas, and bring out the capris and the - gasp! - open-toed shoes! Woohoo!

Even now I'm going through my nail polish, trying to pick out the perfect pedicure color. I can't wait!

What's your favorite facet of spring?